before we graduate 畢業前的我們
It is the most crowded time of the year in Boston again. Tour buses are full and the line for lobster rolls are long, even the duck boats are stuck in traffic.
It is not difficult to tell the graduates and their families apart on the streets, the air is filled with languages. Everyone walks slowly, the graduates are lingering, their families are exploring.
Me too, are leaving this city where I have lived for six years. Though I wouldn’t call someone who is secretly plotting to come back every weekend really moving away, but as I handed in my last paper, a heavy sadness hit me, hard.
"I don’t want to go" sounds so childish, I am afraid to even say it out loud.
I feel like I have just moved here, just began to call it home, and somehow I’m leaving already.
Mom would never believe I am a graduating Master’s student. I will always be that six years old who ran around the house with a viola in hand. And now, I have run fearlessly to a crossroad under the warm sunshine of May, but I don’t want to run anymore.
Fortunately, I don’t have that many regrets.
To study at NEC, to live in Boston, I feel so loved every single day.
My two teachers who are so different yet both spoil me too much. “Once a student, always an open door”, they said.
They never tried to planned my future. Mr. Murrath once said, “I pretty much let you do what you want”. Even when I told them I wanted to do the exhibition in the midst of school applications, they were more excited and supportive than anyone.
The first Saturday of May was my last recital at NEC, and I cried helplessly after the last note.
They hugged me warmly and wiped away the tears that I held in for so long
In their eyes, I am probably a six years old too, still, has a lifetime to learn. At times when I let self-doubt devour me. I always think of them, who never left me along the way, who walked into my world, opened the closed windows and let the sunshine in.
I, of all people know I am very blessed, I no longer wish for time to stop, now I wish time can keep being so kind and generous of opportunities, so I can one day make them proud.
For those who are also graduating,
please remember to be proud of yourselves too.
Even if you don’t know what future lays ahead and you don’t know what a diploma does exactly; and perhaps like me, you are reluctant to go forward.
Please always remember that the piece of paper is a proof of our hard work.
Don’t underestimate yourself, and the teachers who are trusting it with you.
It is very thin and light, yet it carries our most precious time at school, all that we learned made it just heavy enough. After we move our tassels to the other side, may we be more couragous. And no matter how sweet or bitter our past is, the future awaits us to taste.