before we graduate 畢業前的我們
我們又一起到了波城最熱鬧的時候，坐滿的雙層巴士和大排長龍的龍蝦餐廳，連鴨子船也無奈的停在了車陣裡。
路上的畢業生和他們的家人是如此好認，各種語言突然充滿了涼爽的空氣。大家都慢悠悠的走著。畢業生們不想離開，家人們卻才剛抵達。
而我也要搬家了，離開這居住了六年的城市。雖然我不認為偷偷計劃每週末就要回來的人算是真的搬走，但是交出最後一份報告後隨之出現的不捨和不願，這才理解自己在離開的路上。
「不想去了，不要去了」 都因為太任性所以不敢說出口。不過我本來就是收好行李後會突然不想出發的人。
感覺我才搬到這座城市，才剛開始稱這裡為家，轉眼穿上碩士服。
媽媽也總不願相信我已經要畢業了，在她心中我永遠都是那剛拿起琴的六歲孩子，一直坐不住的到處奔跑著。這次好不容易跑到了一個曬著五月陽光的轉角卻不想跑了，依依不捨的向她撒嬌。
幸運的是，我沒有很多後悔。能到NEC唸書，能住在波士頓，我每天都感到無比幸福。
太過疼我的兩位主修老師們，從沒有過問我未來的計畫，連Dimitri都曾笑著說，他想讓我活在自己的音樂世界裡。而他們都用了自己的方式鼓勵我，「只要妳曾是這個studio的一員，妳就是我的家人」，截然不同的他們不約而同的說。
即使去年在我應該專心申請學校時，突然告訴他們我決定要來辦個展覽，他們也比任何人都還興奮。成果演講時，他們爭相地說自己感動得哭了。
五月的第一個禮拜六成為了我在NEC最後一場音樂會，結束後無助哽咽的我被他們溫柔的抱住，擦去了一直以來不願在他們面前落下的淚水。在他們眼中我大概也是個六歲孩子吧，還有一輩子要學習的。
在琴練的不順利的時候，或是懷疑自己是否有資格當音樂家時，我總會想起他們，
一路陪著我的他們，
走進我的世界並把我帶出去的他們。
是很幸運的我知道，所以更加地感覺到自己的任性。但是我不再希望時間停下來，而是希望時間能繼續對我仁慈。
帶給我更多機會讓我可以不讓他們失望，可以繼續過著以後會依依不捨的日子。
要畢業的妳你，也請一定要以自己為榮。
即使不知道以後要做什麼，也不知道區區一張畢業證書能做什麼，甚至像我一樣幼稚的不想離開。請無論如何記得那張紙都是你我努力的證明，不要小看自己和將它交付給我們的老師們。
它很輕很薄，卻也是我們努力的歲月，學問也已讓它很重很重。
畢業後，讓我們更加勇敢，無論過去是甜美還是苦澀，未來都還只是一張白紙。
It is the most crowded time of the year in Boston again. Tour buses are full and the line for lobster rolls are long, even the duck boats are stuck in traffic.
It is not difficult to tell the graduates and their families apart on the streets, the air is filled with languages. Everyone walks slowly, the graduates are lingering, their families are exploring.
Me too, are leaving this city where I have lived for six years. Though I wouldn’t call someone who is secretly plotting to come back every weekend really moving away, but as I handed in my last paper, a heavy sadness hit me, hard.
"I don’t want to go" sounds so childish, I am afraid to even say it out loud.
I feel like I have just moved here, just began to call it home, and somehow I’m leaving already.
Mom would never believe I am a graduating Master’s student. I will always be that six years old who ran around the house with a viola in hand. And now, I have run fearlessly to a crossroad under the warm sunshine of May, but I don’t want to run anymore.
Fortunately, I don’t have that many regrets.
To study at NEC, to live in Boston, I feel so loved every single day.
My two teachers who are so different yet both spoil me too much. “Once a student, always an open door”, they said.
They never tried to planned my future. Mr. Murrath once said, “I pretty much let you do what you want”. Even when I told them I wanted to do the exhibition in the midst of school applications, they were more excited and supportive than anyone.
The first Saturday of May was my last recital at NEC, and I cried helplessly after the last note.
They hugged me warmly and wiped away the tears that I held in for so long
In their eyes, I am probably a six years old too, still, has a lifetime to learn. At times when I let self-doubt devour me. I always think of them, who never left me along the way, who walked into my world, opened the closed windows and let the sunshine in.
I, of all people know I am very blessed, I no longer wish for time to stop, now I wish time can keep being so kind and generous of opportunities, so I can one day make them proud.
For those who are also graduating,
please remember to be proud of yourselves too.
Even if you don’t know what future lays ahead and you don’t know what a diploma does exactly; and perhaps like me, you are reluctant to go forward.
Please always remember that the piece of paper is a proof of our hard work.
Don’t underestimate yourself, and the teachers who are trusting it with you.
It is very thin and light, yet it carries our most precious time at school, all that we learned made it just heavy enough. After we move our tassels to the other side, may we be more couragous. And no matter how sweet or bitter our past is, the future awaits us to taste.
